(..) Back in the s, I was in a very famous TV Show called Horsin' Around. Please hold your applause. And I remember one time, a fan asked me, "Hey, um, you know that episode where the horse has to give Ethan a pep talk, after Ethan finds out his crush only asked him to the dance (..)

(..) I knew this meant that she loved me. Now, that's a good story about my mother. It's not true, but it's a good story, right? I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when i was a kid, where she talks about her father. I remember when I saw it, thinking that's the kind of story I want to tell (..)