(..) one giant leap for mankind. I thought I was going back to Vietnam, but instead they decided the best way for me to fight the communists was to play ping-pong, so I was in the Special Services, travelling around the country, cheering up wounded veterans and showing 'em how to play ping-pong. I was so good, the Army decided I should be on the All-American ping-pong team. We were the first Americans to visit the land of China in a million years or something. Somebody said world peace was in our hands, but all I did was play ping-pong. When I got home, I was a national celebrity, (..)