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warranty

noun: a written statement that promises the good condition of a product and states that the maker is responsible for repairing or replacing the product usually for a certain period of time after its purchase
noun: a real covenant binding the grantor of an estate and the grantor's heirs to 'warrant' and defend the title
synonyms: guarantee, authority, warrant

(..) this back together right now, so I can return it! You can't return it. Howard wiped his bottom with the warranty. What?! I think metaphorically. But he was in the bathroom for a while. Howard, my father cut me off. (..)
2015 TvShow: The Big Bang Theory Title: The Graduation Transmission Season: 8 Episode 22
(..) Oh! All right, playtime's over. Let's open this baby up. Won't that void the warranty? Sheldon, I have a master's degree in engineering. I wipe my bottom with warranties. Except for AppleCare. (..)
2015 TvShow: The Big Bang Theory Title: The Graduation Transmission Season: 8 Episode 22